Finding Joy, Joe’s Valentine’s story

Written by Joe Coffin on

Joe is 57. He lives in Sense-supported living accommodation in Birmingham and volunteers every week at the reception desk at Sense TouchBase Pears. It’s the perfect role for Joe, who describes himself as friendly and sociable.

Joe is sat smiling widely and looking happy. He is wearing a grey jumper.

Joe first came into contact with Sense in 2002, when he moved into Sense accommodation. He’s deafblind and, at the time, faced barriers to living independently.

“Sense has been really good to me. They’ve helped a lot with day-to-day living. I like using my computer, and they supported me to get set up with the right accessible software.”

How Joe found his Joy

Sense has also supported Joe through another major milestone. Proposing to his fiancé, Joy.

He tells the story:

I first met Joy in 2018, but she already had a boyfriend. We lost contact during Covid, then saw each other again in February 2022, when restrictions were lifted. This time, she was single!

We used to see each other at a lunch club every two weeks and at our favourite, sensory discos.

I worked up the courage to buy Joy a Valentine’s card, but I was nervous to give it to her, so I kept it for a little while. When my support worker helped me give her the card, she was really pleased. That day, she won some biscuits on the raffle at the club and shared them with me. I asked my support worker to pass on my contact details, and three days later, Joy called me.

The rest is history. We’ve been together ever since.

Joy is stood with her left around around Joe, who is sat down. They are both smiling at the camera. Joy is holding two Sense medals which in a ribbon around their necks.
Joe and Joy celebrating the opening ceremony of the 2024 Paralympic Games at TouchBase Pears, pictured with their own Sense medals.

The big question

Joy is a really lovely person. We have lots in common. We both like dancing at discos, animals, going out for meals, coffee mornings and listening to the radio. We do lots independently, but Sense is always there to support me if I need someone to come out with us.

Joe and Joy are sat side by side on a train. Joe has his right arm around Joy's shoulders, and their foreheads are meeting in the middle, touching intimately.
Joe and Joy sat next to each other on a train journey, with Joe’s arm around Joy

I knew during our first Christmas together that I wanted to propose to Joy. Unfortunately, she wasn’t very well at the time, so I waited for the perfect moment.

We got engaged on Valentine’s Day at a special disco, then arranged a party to celebrate with our friends, family and people from Sense. I got down on one knee again in front of everyone while our song played. It was ‘When You Say Nothing at All’ by Ronan Keating.

We held the party at Sense TouchBase Pears because it’s such an important place to me. It wasn’t my idea. Josie, the building manager, suggested it, and I knew it was perfect.

Joe and Joy are standing behind a table with a pink cake on it. They are both holding hands and smiling. Joe has a black jumper on, with icons and words that read 'I love BRUM'

Sense has always been there for me. They’ve helped me a lot. I don’t know where I’d be without them. I’d be lost.