But, you know, I adore children. My early career was in care and I have a real passion for disabilities. So, before I knew it, one turned into three, into five \u2013 suddenly I had six fantastic children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I can\u2019t imagine my life without my children. Being a father changes you in so many ways. It changes how you see yourself and the world around you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the biggest lessons for any parent is the shift in awareness. You need to be constantly tuned-in to the needs of someone else and be on hand to help. As a dad to children with complex disabilities, I\u2019m there for such a broad spectrum of support \u2013 from scratching an itch, to showering and dressing each day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you have kids that can\u2019t satisfy their own needs independently, there\u2019s a lot to do. I\u2019ve learned to take each day as it comes. There\u2019s not a single ability or sense that I take for granted. Every ability is celebrated, and each achievement praised.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Finding ways to give your children confidence in themselves is such a rewarding part of being a parent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Having a strong structure in place will support you all the way through fatherhood. If you build a solid routine and family framework, it\u2019ll be there to fall back on, whatever happens. Everyone who meets my children remarks on how independent they are. There\u2019s a real can-do attitude in the house. If they want to go ice skating in their wheelchairs, they\u2019ll do it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s a big part of the household ethos. Yes, you have a disability, but we all need to navigate our needs and learn to deal with life. Don\u2019t say you can\u2019t do it, always try your best.<\/p>\n\n\n\n All my children are fantastically aware of each other\u2019s needs. They do what they can for each other \u2013 it\u2019s beautiful to see. I don\u2019t like to blow my own trumpet, but it\u2019d be wonderful to think that they\u2019ve inherited some of their kindness and generosity from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They have such love for each other but also for life. That\u2019s all I want, really. If I can make the best of my life, and the best of my children\u2019s lives, then I have a great legacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ben was nominated for \u2018Family Carer of the Year\u2019 at the Sense Awards in 2021 \u2013 and he won! He told us that being nominated blew him away:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe thought that other people were seeing my story and might be inspired is wonderful. My award is in pride of place in my living room, it really just feels amazing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"A](\"https:\/\/www.sense.org.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/MF-21-1024x683.jpg\")
Learning to praise every ability<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
My advice for a first-time dad<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
It’s also so important to recognise your own needs. I have an incredible network of friends and family who find ways to support me. That network is such a key part of being a parent. They are the people you can lean on when you need a break, really!<\/p>\n\n\n\nA loving legacy<\/h2>\n\n\n\n